Cats in Physics
1 - Law of Cat Paper Destruction
Any paper brought into the room will either be
attacked and chewed to pieces or will be layed upon by a
cat depending on the importance of the paper...The more
important/interesting the paper is to the human, the more
lible the cat is to lay on/chew/or attack it.
2 - Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless
acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of
cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
3 - Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is
a really good reason to change direction.
4 - Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair
in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
5 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in
the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the
cat.
6 - Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the
length of the nap just taken.
7 - Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible,
in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as
is possible for the cat.
8 - Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just
about any counter top that has anything remotely
interesting on it.
9 - Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he
gets good and ready to stop.
10 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is
served.
11 - Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for
very long.
12 - Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a
human's desire for her to do something.
13 - First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor
destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as
possible.
14- Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by
a lot of napping.
15 - Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough,
someone will come along and take out something good to
eat.
16 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump
into bed at the speed of light.
17 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over,
the most comfortable spot in any given room.
18 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a
cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
19 - Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to
her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
20 - Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared,
just to show you he can.
21 - Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly
proportional to the cost of the furniture.
22 - Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place
possible.
23 - Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own
volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
24 - Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse
proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in
trying to interest him.
25 - Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy
to reach escape velocity.
26 - Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It
Doesn't Matter.
Email:KatKorner@stny.rr.com

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